Sid is home! Finally after all the drama and craziness I got to pick-up and bring home Sid last night. The 1st night went pretty well and it seems the family will all get along. The Bubbas did okay and didn't freak out, but they were kept on leashes with Sid and Toby got smacked once. It was actually really funny, he pouted afterwards for a while and seemed completely defeated by the little kitty. Daisy stayed close to me as usual and really didn't seem to interested. A little more time and I think everyone will be able to roam free.
I kinda feel a little like I'm using the cat to fulfill my need for a baby, but I don't feel bad about it. I love Sid and was happy to rescue him from the shelter and the couple that abandoned him. He's part of the family already and if we add a baby to the mix too so be it.
I've been feeling soooooooo much more relaxed lately. I just have a sense of peace that I haven't felt in a while. I can tell my anxiety is down and the depression has been lifted quite a bit. I'm sure Sid and the excitement getting him has helped, but I know it's more about Tara and finally resolving what is going to happen with her. We're still waiting for her to spend the night at the TFH so we can see if she will have any problems with the cats there. Hopefully that will happen this weekend. Everything else seems to be working out so hopefully that's a good sign. She doesn't call anymore either, which helps a lot with my sanity. I just can't deal with her, she's absolutely toxic to my emotional well being. I shouldn't let her be, but she is and I have to stop feeling guilty about not being able to handle it all. I have to realize in her mind she wasn't going to be happy unless I was miserable.
Greg messaged me this week on FB so we've chatted back and forth a couple of times. He said I was his oldest and best (or something like that) friend and he hoped we could get together soon and talk. He's having problems with his gf and I'm not sure if it's her or him or both. He talked about blowing up and his moods being off, which I still think he could be Bipolar or maybe stuff happened to him that I really don't know about. He's obviously angry about something that he's not talking about. He is starting school again, which I'm super proud of him for, he said he feels old doing homework, but I'll support him through it if it means success for him. All I really want is for him to be happy.
In the world of ttc, I finally finished the last long ass cycle and I'm back on Clomid starting yesterday. There was so much going on yesterday I had no time to even think about it or stress over side effects or whatever. It's better that way, but I know as O day gets closer I'll be more anxious. I just have to keep telling myself, no matter how much I fight with myself about it, that I will get pg, it will happen. So many people have told me it will happen, I have to start believing it too. Oh, and I'm only trying 50mg of Clomid this time cause I don't really think I need 100mg and think it may have even overstimulated me. Last cycle, med free, I O'd on CD20 and still had a 12 day LP. O was prolonged, but my stress was crazy at the time. I guess I'm hoping to have things settled down with Tara so we can all be more relaxed and then maybe that's when I'll actually get pg. I'm also doing the acupuncture and now yoga on Saturday mornings with Janet. I've been better about remembering my vitamins too and I think I might be starting to lose a little weight. I feel like my clothes are fitting a little better. All in the name of a baby!
No comments:
Post a Comment